Sue watches Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier (The TOS Project)

The TOS Project continues with the first six Star Trek movies, which, in the words of Philip J. Fry, “average out to be pretty okay.”  Posts for the Star Trek films will be written live-blog style, with timestamps from Netflix streaming.

As I’m sure you all know, Leonard Nimoy passed away on Friday, February 27, 2015.  No, I didn’t watch TOS as a kid (as you all know), but the Star Trek I did watch – the Star Trek that helped to shape me as a person – wouldn’t have existed without him. And even if I didn’t watch the original 79 episodes, I understood them. I knew both the fictional history and the importance to television history. I knew what Star Trek meant to people. I knew that what was intended to be a “space western” was in fact really groundbreaking in a lot of ways. So many others on the internet have said or drawn or written something much more eloquent than I ever could. So I will simply join the chorus: Rest in Peace, Mr. Nimoy. We’ll miss you. Thank you.

Before watching: I get The Final Frontier (Star Trek 5) and The Undiscovered Country (Star Trek 6) confused. Is this the one where they go looking for God? Clearly, I have no idea. And for some reason, this is the only one of the Trek films that is not available on Netflix streaming right now. So timestamps will be from the DVD – whichever release Netflix sent me.

0:02:35 – Is that a Vulcan expressing emotions? His eyebrows sure look Vulcan…
0:03:45 – This is really weird and kind of Biblical. I mean, I suppose the Biblical part was probably intentional, but that doesn’t make it less weird.
0:04:20 – Yep. Vulcan. Extra weird.
0:05:10 – I know I’ve said it before, but I really don’t love that TNG theme in the TOS movies. Or the DS9 font.
0:09:00 – Is all of this rock-climbing really necessary?  It certainly makes this necessary…

0:10:45 – I do love Spock’s anti-grav boots. And his swan dive.
0:12:00 – Is Nimbus III home to Mos Eisley spaceport?
0:12:30 – She doesn’t have the same styling or mannerisms as any Romulan I’ve ever seen…
0:15:30 – Scotty is the Best. One.
0:17:00 – So even understaffed and with a malfunctioning ship, the Enterprise is Starfleet’s best option.
0:21:00 – “Other people have families. Not us.” Don’t they realize that they are family?
0:23:00 – Okay, that entire campfire scene is ridiculous, but I kind of loved it.
0:24:00 – So, the Klingons decloak next to… Voyager? Didn’t we already deal with Voyager in the first movie?
0:30:00 – They need Kirk, but they want him to avoid confrontation? So unlikely.
0:30:45 – How come McCoy is the only one who is always wearing a super wide Disco collar?
0:31:50 – I know it’s been used over and over, but I do kind of love it when the ship is malfunctioning. Just once, I want them to power down the computer, and then power up again to fix a problem.
0:35:00 – So, Spock knows the “passionate Vulcan.” Go figure.
0:39:00 – Wow. A naked fan dance to attract literally all the men in the area. Really? Really?!
0:40:30 – Isn’t that a strip club? So they were distracted by a naked lady… when they were right near a strip club?
0:43:20 – Ah! The “councilors” were in on it!
0:45:00 – Okay, 45 minutes in, and I’m still not really sure what the actual goal of this film is.
0:50:20 – I don’t really have any idea what’s happening (Kirk’s “allowing” Sybok to take over the ship so that the Klingons don’t blow up the entire planet?), but that was the best shuttle docking I’ve ever seen.
0:55:00 – Hilarious semantics. Sybok is not only Spock’s half-brother, but fully Vulcan, who rejected logic and reason. While Spock, half-human, strives to follow Vulcan teachings. Oh, the irony.
0:59:30 – Sybok wants to go a Sha Ka Ree, a planet at the center of the galaxy? Like, where the black hole is? Cause… that doesn’t make any sense.
1:03:00 – These gravity boots. Amazing.
1:07:00 – WHAT was that scene between Uhura and Scotty?
1:12:30 – These “painful” flashbacks are making me uncomfortable.
Paused – My dad just texted me, and I replied that I was watching Star Trek. He sent, “Tanagua and gellison on some island.” I believe he means “Darmok and Jillad at Tanagra.”  Close enough.
1:16:30 – So this is supposed to be a barrier around the center of the galaxy? I mean… wouldn’t that just be the event horizon around the black hole, from which nothing – not even light – can escape? I am having a hard time with this just because of the destination.
1:20:00 – Is Kirk actually the first one to bring up God? Unless Sha Ka Ree is not a planet…
1:23:30 – I legit have no idea what’s going on.
1:29:00 – Leave it to Kirk to be the voice of reason.
1:30:30 – You know, Sybok’s whole motivation is flawed. Anyone with faith in a God who created the universe/galaxy wouldn’t think He could be contained by a galactic barrier that He created.
1:33:00 – At least Sybok realizes the error of his ways and tries to help everyone else escape.
1:34:40 – The Klingons know 1) that the Enterprise is using the transporter and 2) exactly where to fire in order to disable them? Okay. Why not?
1:38:45 – Okay, best line of the movie. I don’t know if it was worth 98 minutes of my time to get to, but I chuckled.

After Watching: What in the world did I just watch? Yikes. Seriously, I don’t even know what I am supposed to take from that. So, I guess I will just check it off my list and move on. And maybe make a note to not bother watching it again…