If you like this article, you may also enjoy these posts: Star Wars films we’ve covered: Phantom Menace (from 2015) A New Hope (from 2008), The Empire Strikes Back (from 2011), Return of the Jedi (from 2013) and The People Vs. George Lucas.
The Brilliance of Episode 1
Star Wars Episode 1 is many things, but Shakespeare it is not, I would argue it is not even Dude, Where’s My Car. In looking for passages to use in this blog, I was sad to find that so many lines are so terrible they are not even terrible enough to be funny. That was disappointing to me. It is almost as if Lucas did a first draft (much like me with this blog) and said, “you know this is brilliant. Let’s just start shooting. Yeah. I’m awesome.” Please enjoy my favorite and also most cringe-worthy quotes from Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace! (The Phantom Menace? Really? Even the title makes no sense. Who is the phantom and what is s/he menacing.)
Jar-Jar Binks: I spake!
Qui-Gon Jinn: The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Now get out of here.
This actually reminds me of the Wizard of Oz quote, “Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don’t they?” – Now that is a line Lucas, pay attention. Especially interesting since the Wizard of Oz is often sighted as one of the many inspirations for Star Wars IV: A New Hope.
Anakin: Are you an angel?
I was going to put the whole exchange, but it made me physically ill. This meet-cute between the (already pretty hot) Natalie Portman and completely prepubescent Anakin is supposed to create a relationship with the audience too. Instead it was the beginning of the end of poor Jake Lloyd’s career.
[R2D2 beeps] C-3PO: I beg your pardon, but what do you mean, “naked?”
Talk about a meet-cute… I actually love this. The beep boop followed by some silly response from C-3PO is one of may favorite gags throughout the series. I’ll let this one pass.
Anakin: What are midi-chlorians?
Qui-Gon Jinn: Midi-chlorians are a microscopic life form that resides within all living cells.
No, Qui-Gon let me. Midi-chlorians were designed to remove magic from an entire universe that has existed to the awe of many fans for 20 years… but go on tell me more…. Gosh Midi-chlorians give me nerd-rage!
Obi-Wan: You were right about one thing, master. The negotiations were short.
It’s such a cool line, it almost doesn’t fit in the movie. Maybe I’m blinded by Ewan MacGregor.
Windu: But which one was destroyed? The master or the apprentice?
I picked this one because it is important to the story, this idea of the Sith Master. And because you have to have a Mace Windu quote. I admit I love him on general principle and will ignore anyone who tries to reason with me otherwise.