I always feel bad about reviewing movies. Mainly because if I’m going to talk about a movie, I want to talk about what happens in said movie. Meaning, I want to talk about everything in detail. However, in a spoiler-sensitive culture this is very difficult.
However, it has been a full month since Mad Max: Fury Road has been released. And you know what? I want to talk about it. All of it. This is my fury road review.
Okay, not all of it. That would be a long review. Probably the more important bits. The bits I want to talk about… don’t judge me.
Behold… The Spoils of Mad Max: Fury Road.
For those who are here to scope out spoilers but still need a summary, here’s one of the worst summaries you’ll ever read.
There’s a dude named Max. He might be a little crazy… and when I say a “little crazy,” I mean he might be “a whole lotta crazy.” After all, this is after the apocalypse turned the planet into a barren wasteland. He and his beloved car are tracked down and captured by War Boys, who paint themselves up like skeletons and really like the thought of Valhalla. They follow Immortan Joe, who is not a nice man. (We’ll get to that in a minute.) Max’s car is re-modeled into a War Boy vehicle while Max himself is being used for blood transfusions. Fun! Meanwhile, a gas rig driver named Furiosa takes a detour from her usual route and we find out what’s up: she is freeing the women Immortan Joe has been using as breeding stock. (Again, not a nice man.) Action scene, action scene, Max escapes and unwillingly teams up with Furiosa and the women, action scene action scene–okay, that’s out of the way! Time to get to the good stuff.
Hit the [Drum] Pedal
First of all, let’s talk about the Immortan Joe’s band. That’s right, there’s a large truck that carries drummers, amps, and a lead guitarist in a giant red onesie that shoots freaking flames during guitar riffs! This guy and the band on the vehicle provide most of the soundtrack for this movie, and it pumps you full of adrenaline to make you want to break things, set something on fire, and sing the Ewok song from Star Wars as you dance before your firey effigy! They are here to rock as well as mame and kill! Also, to add to the creepiness factor, the guitarist is supposedly wearing his mom’s face… ew.
You would figure if the movie was called Mad Max, the protagonist would be Max. While this isn’t a false statement, it isn’t necessarily true either. Ladies and gentleman, meet Furiosa. Your surprise hero of this movie. And alongside her is a group of women who cannot be any more different from each other, but together share horrible experiences and a wish to escape that. They all manage to make their way to Furiosa’s old tribe, the Vuvalni, who also are distinct in their older age and their supreme badass-ness. Sadly, most of the Vuvalni die, but they go out fighting and making hell for the War Boys in the climactic scene. But again, this is Furiosa’s movie, and she is a warrior and a vulnerable human being. “Women are not things” is one of the messages they leave behind for Joe, and it is a theme that is carried out in the movie.
Immortan Joe Needs to (and Does) Die
Again, Immortan Joe is not a nice guy. And I use the understatement because there are no politically correct word that I can use to justify my disgust with this monster. This is clear from the beginning of the film to the end. When one of the fugitive women, Angharad, is run over by Immortan Joe after falling out of the rig, he picks up her body and rages for his lost “property.” Oh, but she was heavily pregnant, too. And I may be wrong here, but she was hanging on by a thread when Immortan Joe gave the order to cut open her stomach to see if his son survived. He didn’t and neither did Angharad. So ask me how happy I was when Furiosa hooked his mask onto one of the rotating wheels of his car, tearing off his face and killing him. Yes, I know that’s messed up to read… but I was soooo happy.
A Beautiful Bromance
Max has a rifle in hand. He’s shooting at the oncoming enemies, but his shots aren’t straight. Furiosa breathes in and crosses to him. She takes the rifle, leans in… and uses him as a stabilizer for the gun. Did you think she was going in for a kiss? Well you were wrong! There’s no kissing in this movie! None! The most important thing that happens between the two are clasping their hands like warriors and Max saving Furiosa’s life by transfusing his blood into her. (Which was O, by the way. That’s the universal blood-type, right?) And then he wanders off into the crowd and lets Furiosa and the women she saved have their moment of victory. YEAH!
I know I’m missing some important spoilers here. Between the revelation that the mysterious “Green Place” was destroyed, the redemption and death of the War Boy Nux, the spectre of the little girl you discover was Max’s daughter… there just isn’t enough time. So use the comments below. Talk spoilers. You have permission! What were your favorite bit in Mad Max: Fury Road? Favorite characters? Go into detail. Go… “mad.” (I’m so, so sorry.)
I hope you enjoyed my Fury Road review!
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