5 rules for Halloween Costumes at Work

Halloween Costumes at Work — A Quick Checklist of Tips

I’ve seen a few Halloween costumes at work in my day—some are permanently etched in my brain (I’m looking at you, hairy, boobatous dude in a cheerleader outfit that clearly was intended for a child). Costume rules were pretty much non-existent at my company; I once wore a sword to work as a part of a pirate costume. I didn’t get arrested (thankfully). In fact, no one said a thing. Despite that fact, looking back, I realize what a horrible idea it was.

Here are a few tips that are not only useful for those of us who lack common sense, but a little humorous too. Have you seen or worn anything inappropriate to work for Halloween?

1. Make sure it’s actually Halloween before you wear a costume to work.

I once arrived at a baby shower that my family was throwing for me, a day early. I drove almost a hundred miles to get there. Yeah, I blamed “baby brain”. Now I triple check my calendar with regards to events like: vacations, holidays, birthdays, doctor’s appointments and Halloween. Halfway to my place of employment, decked out in the coolest Halloween costume ever, I still hear that little voice that usually asks “was that a pothole or a person?”, say, “Is this the 30th?!” Don’t just triple check… quadruple check.

2. If #1 checks out, you should probably confirm, before you show up in your clown costume, that your company allows such frivolities.

Research their policies on costumes. If you like your job, abide by those rules.

3. This should be a no-brainer, but don’t bring weapons to work… maybe this should be #1.

I once wore a badass pirate costume to work for Halloween. It was l-e-g-i-t…LEGIT. If you’ve ever attended the Texas Renaissance Festival in full regalia, then you probably know that T-Ren allows “peace-tied weapons” onto their faire grounds. That means swords and daggers are okay, as long as they are attached to the belt or scabbard with a zip tie or something similar. I didn’t get in trouble for wearing the peace-tied sword that completed my pirate outfit, in fact no one said a thing about it, but I should have asked first. That was almost ten years ago and I’ve grown more wise in my old age.

4. Unless your day job is stripping at a “gentleman’s club”, don’t wear sexy costumes to work.

These are wildly popular in the U.S. and costume manufactures will turn ANYTHING into a “sexy costume”. Why? Because people buy them. My co-host Angela, said she saw a “Sexy Pizza” costume online, which if you think about it… is distasteful. Don’t wear them to work people. Don’t.

5. Forget the fangs if you talk on the phone.

If you don’t already have a lisp or a speech impediment, fangs will definitely generate one. I wore a pair of small vampire fangs to the Texas Renaissance Festival this year during the All Hallows Eve themed weekend. They looked AWESOME. That said, not only did I develop a slight lisp while wearing them, but I kept probing the teeth with my tongue. A piece of the filler that was used to adhere the fang to my real tooth, cut me. Um, they don’t make bandages for tongues. So there’s that.

That’s it from us as far as Halloween costume rules go. :D